Tuesday, 19 October 2010

My Wife vs.The Mistress

My wife has accused me of having a mistress more than once during our marriage.  My mistress is very alluring, available almost 24/7 in one form or another, is very exciting and can provide lots of money.  Many of you may have the same mistress.  Her name is "The Market".

In the past, my mistress has caused a lot of conflicts with the family. I had to spend a lot of time wooing her before she became mine. The day, the nights, the week-ends learning all her ways were never enough. There always seemed more to learn than time available.

The thing that compounded the problem was that my mistress not only took most of my time, but also most of my money. She took everything I threw in her way. Until I mastered her, that is.

What was difficult for my wife was that she knew I would never give up trading, and although she hoped that eventually the market would support us both, she saw no signs that it was close. It was the lack of signs of hope on her part that made things difficult.

You see, the transition is one from losing trader to breakeven trader to sometimes profitable trader to Consistently Profitable trader. The step to CP happens overnight. One day you are not there and the next day you are. At least that's how it was for me. I can still remember that day and the trade that did it for me. An epiphany! A light being switched on. It required so much work, that unless I was someone who really loved to trade, I would have given up.

But my wife doesn't trade. She only saw the losses and the frustration.

Out of all that came the training methodology I have adopted. I found out what did not work and what was needed. I have posted about this in the blog. It worked, and is still working with the traders I am mentoring.

Becoming a discretionary trader is not for everyone. I believe everyone can learn to trade, but only with the caveats that I have mentioned often in my blog, including, the amount of time and effort spent back testing and SIM trading.

So if your mistress is the market it may be useful to share your progress and explain the time that will be required to train your 'muscle memory'. But be certain that to keep the promise you have made to obtain Consistent Profitability and that you have put in place a structured and measurable training process. And don't forget that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.


  1. Thanks,Tom.
    A very inspirational post.
    Especially, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. I will remember it. :)


  2. What a great story...and one that many of us can relate to.

    I will be sharing this real-life story with my wife. Although she is and has been very supportive of my trading journey, she too wonders when her shopping wallet will find a few more $$ in it.

    One thing I have discovered which brings both motivation and comfort to me is the fact that most, if not all traders go through a very similar process of learning how to trade.

    It's the most difficult thing I've ever tried to learn but I know that I will become CP.

    Trading is a game of passion, perseverance, belief and continual adjustments. Eventually the prize of CP can and will be realized by those who put in the time, the effort and learn how to control their "mistress".

  3. Hi Tom
    Do you have anymore details on the forum? I tried to find the post that mentioned it but couldn't seem to pinpoint it. rgds. Joe